It Takes Two.

How do single moms do it???

I give them props and have so much respect for them. Especially if they have more than 1 child.

This post isn't about single moms though, it's about the respect, love, and gratitude I have towards my husband on a daily basis. For him being... him! He is a selfless, supportive, and hard working man that I am lucky enough to share my life and raise my kids with. 

Just like any other parents, we have sleepless nights and stressful mornings. But, the way we work together makes it work for us. I'm never miserable feeling. Thank goodness. Zach and I are the perfect team. If I'm up at night with the boys (or one of them), he will wake up early in the morning and let me go back to sleep. He knows when I'm in need of more rest and will help me out when I need it. And I do the same for him. It works great for us and helps us function happily as a family. 

Just look at us! These boys mean the world to me.. I love them so much! 

This is what our evenings consist of. Cuddles on the couch in the Florida room. Nash even waves at the camera.. Hahaha 

Marriage is hard work. If you're married, you know this. We have been married for about 3 years now, and together for 7. We have learned more from each other in the past 3 years then I could ever imagine. I love being married. I'm old school... I love that I took my husbands last name, I love wearing my ring on my finger, I love sharing everything with my husband. I was watching the "Today" show the other day and there was a story about a woman who didn't take her husband last name. That's fine if she doesn't want to, but to me, that was one big step in becoming a wife. I don't feel like I lost my "identity" when I changed my last name... (Which is basically what she was saying). I felt like I was beginning a new, exciting, and important chapter in my life. Because I was. 

I just got on Zachs case the other day for never wearing his wedding ring. It's been almost 3 years and he only wears it (when he remembers) out to places. Like if we were going out to dinner or a family function. And even then, he often times would forget and not have it on. Honestly, he doesn't wear it because it bothers him at work and he works with his hands. He wore it at first but took if off and lost it, so I had to buy another. 

It doesn't bother me because I think people are going to think he's single. I could care less about that. I am completely confident and sure enough in my relationship that my husband would never cheat on me or even hit on another woman or use his "no wedding ring" as an advantage. I want him to wear it because we are married and for some reason it's important to me that he wears it. I'm not insecure. I'm not jealous of other women and I don't worry about my husband leaving me or finding someone else. I can't explain it.. Other than, I just appreciate him showing to me that he loves me and will wear his ring to show that. Is that crazy? Lol now that I wrote about it, it kinda sounds like it. But I've been "letting it go" for about 3 years and I finally just decided to bring it up again. 

I think I have it pretty "easy" in my relationship. Does that make sense? I don't have much to complain about in my marriage. It's pretty great. I'm not making this up or sugar coating things. I'm not trying to convince people I have the perfect life. Because I don't and no one does. But, I'm trying to let people know, it is possible to find someone perfect for you. Don't settle. I hate when people do that. I've been in a relationship before that I thought was "great" and the "bad things" were normal. Boy was I immature and clueless. I am thankful for that relationship though because it has made my marriage better and me smarter and more mature in life. It made me realize what a relationship should and shouldn't consist of. And honestly, I taught me to work hard in my marriage to make is what it should be. I know I'm doing something right when my husband turns to me and says "I love you so much" and "you're such a good mommy". These comments make everything worth it and put a smile on my face.

Of course there are things I can complain about or get aggravated about. But, that's normal in a marriage and very much expected. Little things like... "I just washed the dishes and you put your cereal bowl in the sink when you could easily put it in the dishwasher" and "please close the closet door!" (This always happens.. Lol) all come to mind. 

My poor husband.. Lol I'm OCD so he has learned how to cope with my craziness. My house is always clean. No joke. I have to have it clean. That's just me. Oh, and my poor kids.. Haha Zane has learned that mommy likes him to clean up his toys and not to play with mommys decorations. Hey, he listens well and he never messes with my decor. I've taught him well. It's become harder to keep up with things since I quit my job. Since we are home most of the time, the house gets messier faster and easier. So I have to stay on top of things more. 

Quick subject change...

My family and I took our first trip to lake Cumberland this past Fourth of July weekend. It was a great trip! Ok. So the weather was kinda crappy but in a way it was great so I didn't have to worry about the boys being in 90 degree weather and crazy sun. Zane loves the lake and the water. And Nash was an angel the whole time. He loved it too!

BUT, this trip really opened my eyes about how out of shape I am! I know I just had a baby.. I get that. But there is no reason why I should be out of breath after walking up a hill. My back was hurting from picking up Zane and carrying Nash and my bones were just sore all around. I have got to do something about this. 

So, I have decided to start walking more and do some at home workouts. Right now I don't want to have to buy a membership anywhere since Nash is still pretty little. So hopefully this makes a difference. All I want is to feel better. I don't need to be "losing weight" but I do need to tone! 

I get a lot of comments about my weight and I understand people think I'm small. I am. In fact, that's who I am. I have always been tiny, so my size is something that is pretty consistent. But I'm realistic and realize that it's not just how you look, it's how you feel that's even more important. And this momma needs to feel better about herself and her health. Stay tuned for some progress reports eventually! I just need to stick with it! 

First time mommy?? No...

Nash is 1 month old! Holy cow.. Time is flying by... Pleasssse slow down!

Here's our 1 month photo!

Also, I don't think I ever posted my weekly photos. So here they are! 

Love that I did this! 

Of course I forgot the get my 40 week picture (I did the same thing with Zane..). Oh well! 

Within the last month, I have thought a lot about my first couple months when Zane was born. Everything I'm experiencing now with Nash, seems like I'm experiencing it for the first time. Why is that?? For so many reasons.

I don't remember! I was so preoccupied with so many things going on when Zane was born that I don't think I really soaked every experience in. Not only that, he had a rough start and it wasn't the same experience any one else would have with their newborn. Since he basically spent the first 3 weeks of his life in the hospital.. I missed out on a lot. 

What do I mean? Simple things like his circumcision.. I didn't even remember how long it took to heal, what was normal and what wasn't.. All the things a new mom would think. But this is my second boy, I should know this! 

How many poops is he supposed to have a day? Is this choking sound normal? Is he waking up enough during the night? My boobs are killing me!! What can I do to help???  All normal questions to have for a first time mommy, right? I think so..

Oh, and what interesting thoughts and conversations I have now at the age of 27 with 2 kiddos... WOW! Times sure have changed... I'm not worried about going to the bar tonight, how I'm getting home from the bar.. Etc. etc. I'm focused on my kids and husband now and the conversations may not be as "exciting" as before, but it's our lives and it's what we love. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Back to little Nash...

Nash is so different, yet exactly the same, as Zane. Does that make sense?

Nash is so much bigger! I remember Zane wearing newborn clothes and diapers for at least 2 months... Nash is 1 month and is wearing 3 month clothing. Geesh. I fee like I don't have my "little baby", but I know I do. 

Nash is already batting at toys and playing on his activity mat. He can entertain himself for 15 minutes on it already. He was only 3 weeks old! Zane was much older when he started this. 

They look like twins.. Sometimes when I'm holding Nash, I feel like I'm looking at Zane all over again. I love that they look so much alike. 

Nash is definitely going to be a mommas boy. He loves to follow me with his eyes and finds me in the room when I talk. He lovesss me and the feeling is mutual ;) 

It breaks my heart to know that I missed out on basically three weeks of Zane in the hospital where I did not get to hold him or bond with him the way I wanted to. I'm incredibly grateful I have been able to do this with Nash. It means the world to me. 

I'm constantly calling my mom asking questions and she reassures me and reminds me that I don't remember a lot of the things that happened with Zane. Her voice- "All these things are normal, Katherine" and "you're baby is just fine" run through my head constantly. I guess I'm just afraid that something will happen to Nash, like something happened to Zane. I hope and pray not. 

Zane loves his bubby so much. He will randomly go up to him and give him a kiss on his head or give him his wubbanub.. 

He always puts toys on him too.. It's so funny. I love that he already shares with him. Lol

Watching Mickey together. 

Zane regressed a little bit when Nash was born, but he is continuously getting better. We have our "not so good" days, but some days he will listen very well and be so good. Mommy loves those days! Sometimes I don't think Zane realizes when mommy is being serious. We are getting better though.

We had a great day celebrating my husband on Father's Day. I cooked him a yummy breakfast, we went shopping at the mall and let Zane play in the play area, we went out to lunch, then had a nice relaxing afternoon at home watching movies. It was just what he needed. 

He is one proud daddy!

I am such a lucky momma... My boys love to cuddle and give me lots of loving. 

Now Onto a new topic... 

Breastfeeding...

I could write a book about the ups and downs of breastfeeding. Another thing that i experienced completely different this time around. 

With Zane, he didn't eat for the first 4 days after he was born. I remember he fed for the first time for about 15 minutes the night before our first pediatrician appt. After he ate, he projectile vomited all over me. (Obviously the effect of his malrotation- for those who don't know, that is when the bowls are twisted and food cannot pass through the intestines. This requires surgery). When we went to the hospital, I was VERY engorged. Obviously.. He wasn't eating anything. When we arrived at the nicu, I was guided by a consultant on pumping and that began my two full weeks of purely pumping. This. Was. MISERABLE! pumping only for two weeks straight wasn't what I had in mind. When Zane finally came home, I breasted him until he was about 6 weeks old. I don't remember any of this part.. The only thing I do remember was getting mastitis one time and it was very painful. At that point, I wanted to stop. So I did. I was upset.. I felt as though I failed to continue breastfeeding as long as I initially wanted to. Eventually, I just stopped being so hard on myself. 

This time around...

Nash has been eating very well. I had an issue with being engorged and in serious pain in the beginning. It was awful. I was constantly pumping and feeding him. I have quite a nice stash in the freezer which is awesome. But it also took so much time away from my boys to constantly be pumping. Eventually, I was able to get my supply down and just pump at night. Thank goodness!

I have a love and hate relationship with breastfeeding..

I love the fact that I get that closeness with Nash and getting him the best nutrients he deserves. 

I hate that it takes time away from Zane. I'm tied down when I'm feeding and cannot get up if he needs me or if he's doing something he shouldn't be doing. 

I hate that I don't feel like I can leave the house. Every time I go somewhere, I get engorged. Not that I don't feel comfortable breastfeeding in public, but I'd rather not. What do I wear to make it easier? Where can I go? Also, Nash isn't always with me. I run my errands when zach gets home so I don't have to drag the boys around. Therefore, I can't feed him. I'm so uncomfortable. 

Ok, so obviously there's more things I am having difficulties with...

I knew zach wanted me to breastfeed not only for the health reasons for Nash, but also because we don't have to buy formula. I was nervous to tell him I wanted to stop soon. Well that was stupid... Duh, Katie. You married the most amazing man ever. He wasn't disappointed or upset at all. He is so incredibly supportive. He simply said " hunny, this is your body and I support whatever you want to do. If you want to stop, stop. It's no big deal". That's exactly what I needed to hear. Thankfully my husband is supportive of every decision I make. Gosh, I'm lucky. It's nice to be supported and encouraged from the man you married.

With that being said, I was slowly but surely stopping. Nash got formula for the first time this past weekend and tolerated it perfectly. We have a ton of breast milk in the freezer, so he will still be getting all that "breast goodness".

Every woman must decide for themselves whether breastfeeding is for them or not. I give a lot of credit to those mommas who breastfeed for months and also to those who don't. Because those who don't, have to often times deal with the pressure of "not breastfeeding". They can get looked down on (which isn't right).

Breastfeeding isn't for everyone. In fact, in my opinion, sometimes mommys shouldn't do it. If it's going to wear and tear on them, then they should stop. Mommys need to do what is best for them and their baby. And the best thing for your baby is for them to have a happy mommy. I wasn't happy breastfeeding Zane... And when I stopped, I was able to be such a happier and more hands on mommy with him. And I know I will be able to give more of myself to Zane and Nash when I stop soon. I don't always feel good and I'm ready to start feeling myself again. 

For new mommies and soon to be mommies- do what is best for you and your baby. The pressure to breastfeed is intense, but don't let it make you feel bad if it doesn't work out for you. 

Life with two!

Nash is 3 weeks old now and I am loving my little newborn. He is starting to stay awake more during the day and I adore everything about him. I love seeing his little eyes open and looking around at me, his daddy, and bubby. And he is definitely a mommas boy. :D LOVE IT! 

He loves to snuggle and is a big fan of the moby wrap. I hated this thing when I first got it.. I could not figure it out for the life of me.. I watched tons of videos and had multiple failed attempts, until I finally figured out how to wear it comfortably. Now, I love it! I was fortunate enough to get this free from my sister in-law and it has already come in handy! What I love most about it is that I can actually bend over to do things and he doesn't move a bit. 

Even though he likes to be close to mommy, I can still lay him on a blanket and he will keep himself entertained for quite a while. This is very convenient considering big bro needs lots of mommy time too. He likes to look outside the window while in his swing. 

And sometimes he just eventually passes out..

Zane has been so good with Nash. Just within the past 2 days he has been giving Nash tons and tons of kisses, hugs, and nice touches just out of nowhere.. I just love it! I just know they are going to be besties in the future. 

We match!

He actually asked to hold his bubby. 

Love all their sweetness.... 

Even though he loves his lil bro.. He still has some set backs here and there and forgets to listen to mommy and daddy.. Typical toddler stuff... Zach and I try and make sure he still gets lots of attention and one on one time with mom and dad. 

I am obsessed with these boys. I am beyond blessed to have this little family. 

Huge shout out to my amazing husband.. He is the most patient, hard working, lovable, kind, and generous man I have ever met. He always puts all 3 of us first and we couldn't be more blessed to have him. He deserves a special Father's Day, and I can't wait to spend the whole day celebrating him. He says all he wants is to spend to day with me and the boys. I think I can handle that, and then some. 

Like I said.. Nash is 3 weeks old now and I an anxiously waiting to get back to my "old self". I'm almost there! Many ladies are absolutely going to hate me when I say... I am almost back to my pre-prego weight and I am already fitting into my pre-prego clothes. BUT!! Don't hate me! I hate that girls compare themselves to others.. Especially after having a baby. I'm not the person to be compared to and nobody else is either. I'm blessed with some pretty darn good genes and I just loose weight and bounce back fast! That's just the way I am.. And some other girls are like that too. It doesn't mean I don't have my own struggles. I may be at a good weight for myself, but I am in no way "fit". And this needs to change! I'm not working, so there should be plenty of time for me to start working out.. Definitely easier said than done. But, hopefully I can jump back into it soon.

I also am starting to jump back into my business, Redo4U. I have really missed doing my projects. I have so many lying around that need some work.. Stay tuned for more to come!